Thursday, July 26, 2012
Missing Mama
This mess with Dad has triggered something in me and I'm missing Mom with an ache that cannot be eased. Moving all of her belongings into boxes or into the siblings care has made it so final. I could not wait to get out of her house yet when I got home, I was surrounded by her possessions and her presence. I'm so sad. The tears have finally come.
Avoidance
I've avoided writing here like it was the plague. It's been months. Summary. Residential care was a bust. We moved them back home and brought in sub-standard care twice a day for Mom. It wasn't working and Mom was getting worse. Against #3 brother's wishes, we found a memory care home for Mom. That was September. Medicaid took over payments in March and she died April 17th. sob.
My grief knows no bounds. And still there's Dad. Very needy now, lonely, and Mark and Scott leave for traveling. Tim and Barb are busy with work. Richard helped for a while but he's kinda sickly. So, the majority of his care fell to me.
He's so lonely and HATES being in his house. He's gone all the time to the casino or dropping in on Tim, Laurie, or me. He's also becoming aware of his frailty and has decided to move. NOW. Laurie and I took him to look at several places. Foster homes were out. Not enough activity and no cooking in the rooms. Assisted living is out. Too expensive. We were at an impasse until we looked at Sheldon Oaks, independent retirement living. affordable. lovely, happenin'. Dad loved it and we moved him just a few days later. Still working out the kinks. And there are a few of them.
My frustration level hit the boiling point with Dad and he has been on edge with me ever since. He cannot hear on his cell phone and until they install a land line it is all he has to use. It is useless to talk to him yet he tries. This was the source of my boil over.
But something happened for me. I found my limit and am now preparing to take time off from Dad. I will try and get a couple things finished for him and then I'm shutting down for maintenance.
So, there it is in a nutshell.
My grief knows no bounds. And still there's Dad. Very needy now, lonely, and Mark and Scott leave for traveling. Tim and Barb are busy with work. Richard helped for a while but he's kinda sickly. So, the majority of his care fell to me.
He's so lonely and HATES being in his house. He's gone all the time to the casino or dropping in on Tim, Laurie, or me. He's also becoming aware of his frailty and has decided to move. NOW. Laurie and I took him to look at several places. Foster homes were out. Not enough activity and no cooking in the rooms. Assisted living is out. Too expensive. We were at an impasse until we looked at Sheldon Oaks, independent retirement living. affordable. lovely, happenin'. Dad loved it and we moved him just a few days later. Still working out the kinks. And there are a few of them.
My frustration level hit the boiling point with Dad and he has been on edge with me ever since. He cannot hear on his cell phone and until they install a land line it is all he has to use. It is useless to talk to him yet he tries. This was the source of my boil over.
But something happened for me. I found my limit and am now preparing to take time off from Dad. I will try and get a couple things finished for him and then I'm shutting down for maintenance.
So, there it is in a nutshell.
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