end of year

The last day of the year.  I love the idea of starting over.  Renewing goals and ideas.  Striving to be a better human being.  I begin in November thinking about what I found utterly lacking in my life in the past year(s) and what I'd like to do to change or what I'd like to begin anew.  Like a new project; or learning something new.  One year I learned how to work with clay.  One year I learned karate.  This year I am still going through the throws of menopause and I'm an emotional wreck as well as being unwell.  In spite of this and because of this I pledge to be kinder to myself and take better care of myself. 
My parents are needing increasing amounts of help and I know I will be there at least as often as I have in the past year.  Extension is growing again and I know I will be involved in some way there also although I feel less inclined to spend a lot of time there.  I have neglected my home for so long that I no longer sense a rhythm here. 
I pledge to rebuild that rhythm.  To focus on simplifying and putting a better order to my home.  Shelves and cabinets are high on my list.  I will be more intelligent and less emotional about discarding some of my possessions.  I will clean out my closets and drawers.  And I will do these things with time and thoughtfulness; not hurrying to get it done and over with.  I need that emotional connection and disconnection to develop a peace in me.
I hope to stay on top of my projects; like gardening.  being proactive and buying the stuff I need before I need it.  or building the things I need before I need them.  Like wire cages for the tomatoes.  Like investing in the wire fencing for whatever reason. 
I have a couple of calligraphy projects; one that is a continuing one for the church; banners for the agnus dei (which I need to get going on the third installment) and a meditative project that I'm still working out in my hear using Corinthians 13.
I've been here long enough.  'til next year.

Focus

These are the days that test my sanity and peace.  From now until Christmas I will need to focus tightly on what needs to be done and do it instead of zoning out and retreating to the comfortable actions i usually take when I'm stressed out. 
Today I must 1. finish banner for church, 2. make flyers for bulletin, 3. pick up food from postal food drive, 4. make bread for the family, 5. make bread for the shower tomorrow, 6. call Bonnie and let her know I'm bringing bread, 7. clean my house 8. put up decorations.  I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it.