fair

I've been at the Fair all week running the food preservation department.  These hours have taken me away from giving my dad respite and taking my mom for the day, cleaning my house (omg it's dirty), watering faithfully in the garden, picking berries and herbs, reading up on my studies and eating right. 
What I have been doing is standing alot, walking a little, and eating bad food.  Yesterday, after discovering what chocolate does to my sinuses and suspecting wheat to do the very same thing, I've decided to once again become a localvore except on a much longer term basis and adding in the abstinence of wheat and chocolate.  I'm much too tired of being in the state I've been in for over a year and a half.  This must end and I must focus on everything I can do to improve my health. Two days of fair left and two other days of committments and I'll be back home for a few days to regroup and hopefully get something done to ease my soul.

fed up. again.

My husband is at his AA meeting.  I didn't think he was a alcoholic.  He drank whenever he was home and seldom to excess.  One or two beers a night.  But unless he was giving it up for Lent or for the year fast, he has always drunk.  He went with a friend who is definitely an alcoholic and he was so affected by the meeting he has continued to go, (the friend has not) and he has stated he is an alcoholic.
He's gone through a few weeks of being angry and fearful about not ever drinking again.  But now he's resigned and I think content at least outwardly.

I am a food aholic.  I do not know how to recover; to get well.  Diets are not get well programs.  I do not know what is good and what is not.  I don't feel I can believe anyone.  Each year the good food changes.  I guess I need to go with the food that never changes.  And does that mean never eating dessert or Mackie D's?  does that include home made french fries but not freezer fries?  I just really don't know.  I guess i have to really sit down and make up the rules for good.  No dessert?  Not even on birthdays? and special occasions?  No white bread?  how do I eat out?  do I protect myself at home and avoid fast food restaurants but allow the occasional "special circumstances"?

What does this mean for Chinese food I make at home?  It has sugar in it.  Is that okay?  I don't make it every week but I do make it a couple times per month.  I can eat brown rice with it. 
I'll continue this later.  i'm doing research right now.

teaching jelly making

Today I taught my daughter and my son (at different times; they don't get along well) to make jelly.  They are entering jellies among other items in the county fair.  Daughter made black currant jelly from my bc juice and son is in the process right now of making strawberry jelly from my strawberry juice.  A nice time was had by all.  Daughter didn't read directions well, depending on my memory, and we now have bc syrup.  Her second batch doesn't look much better right now.  I'm hoping  it thickens overnight. 
She also learned to make a pickling brine for refrigerator dills and filled three quart jars.  They'll be ready for testing in a couple of weeks.
The house smells divine and my heart is full. 

Eat Real Food

Today I want to begin an Eat Real Food Challenge to myself for one month.  This is a difficult thing to do as I am in town often and often during meal times.  I am also at Fair for 10 days this month with a lot of fair foods tempting me to the once per year imbibing.  Yet, for my health and well-being, I shall prevail.  I'm sure there is real food out there. 
Taking time to think about what is real food is the real challenge.  Being rested enough to think is another challenge. 
Realistically, I mostly eat real food; I just eat a lot of it and I do add ingredients like sugar and white flour.  I usually make my own bread, my own chinese food, mexican food, italian food, polish food, etc. etc.  But I do love a mocha frappacino from Starbucks.
So, nevermind.  But I want to challenge myself on something food related.  to eat more healthy?  hmmm,  i do eat pretty healthy.  to eat more veggies?  Yea.  I can get behind that.  to eat less sugar?  not so much in my diet except for adding it to sauces and of course deep dark chocolate.  But; I can add, no desserts not made with fruit?  And white flour.  sigh.  I do love homemade bread.  And I make great bread.  I will grind some wheat berries and make myself some wheat bread or sourdough rye.  My heathen family will continue to eat the white bread. 
Portion control!  there's a challenge if I've ever made one. 
so:  my challenge for August;
portion control
nix to white sugar and
white flour
more veggies