I seem to always be pushing myself through water; that drag that tires you out so quickly. maybe it's mud dragging my feet.
I had a birthday last week. perfectly uneventful and I'm not sure I like that. Birthdays should be eventful. or at least marked in someway. I spent it working at the pantry and then took my son out to dinner. My daughter gave me gifts which were lovely and I had many people wishing me happy birthday from the internet pages. But I didn't mark the day in a way in which I wanted to. I figured, no big deal; that I could make it up at some further date. But the moment was lost. but I digress.
I wanted to write about struggle and changes; and what I want to do.
I want to concentrate on having more fun. I don't have much fun. I don't really even know what fun is anymore. I enjoy reading, going to movies, gardening; solitary things; but I'm not a lot of fun to do things with. And I want to discover that part of me. I don't know how to do this.
Being more adventurous. but I'm alone so much. I don't have friends who would do the stuff I want to do except laurie who lives too far away. waaah. more later.
