I just couldn't let my folks move into assisted living right now. They need 24 hour care and residential living is the best idea. Mom doesn't understand and I'm grieving for her. Intellectually I understand I cannot take care of them but emotionally I'm devastated. I feel like I'm abandoning them.
I fear mom won't last long there before being moved to memory care unit and I fear the expense of having a parent in both units. I feel like I'm letting both of them down; that I didn't try hard enough.
Why can't they come home? Why can't things go on the way they were? We can make it work. It would assuage my guilt but my family and home life would suffer and, God, I feel so selfish. I can't stop crying this morning and I need to keep a brave face for mom. I think I'm going to be sick.
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