Sitting in the back room, once known as the art room when Mom still had her faculties and now it's the computer room. Mom sits at her art table and scribbles in a notebook while I sit here and work.
I'm feeling anxious tonight. I'm not sure why, things are beginning to smooth out a little bit. Mom's got a good routine, Dad's got most of his brain back and knows he's at rehab for a couple of weeks. I forgot to email my pantry order and my friend emailed me to see how things were going. Perhaps it's rehashing this stuff that's got me anxious.
I so long to be the woman I'm supposed to be. I feel so unfulfilled. I am envious of other women who use their talents in an easy going every day manner. They make contentment look so easy. I know that no one is completely content but I long to be a little more. I seem to always be waiting for my life to start. I know my life it strictly up to me, I just can't seem to figure out what to do.
Life is just a little crazy right now and I am in a holding pattern to a point. It won't stop raining so I cannot garden; I'm here at Mom's or at the rehab center 4 days a week. Soon it will be summer and I'll be hot and miserable.
I cannot plan anything for at least two weeks so I need to just breathe and take it easy.
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