Friday, December 31, 2010

end of year

The last day of the year.  I love the idea of starting over.  Renewing goals and ideas.  Striving to be a better human being.  I begin in November thinking about what I found utterly lacking in my life in the past year(s) and what I'd like to do to change or what I'd like to begin anew.  Like a new project; or learning something new.  One year I learned how to work with clay.  One year I learned karate.  This year I am still going through the throws of menopause and I'm an emotional wreck as well as being unwell.  In spite of this and because of this I pledge to be kinder to myself and take better care of myself. 
My parents are needing increasing amounts of help and I know I will be there at least as often as I have in the past year.  Extension is growing again and I know I will be involved in some way there also although I feel less inclined to spend a lot of time there.  I have neglected my home for so long that I no longer sense a rhythm here. 
I pledge to rebuild that rhythm.  To focus on simplifying and putting a better order to my home.  Shelves and cabinets are high on my list.  I will be more intelligent and less emotional about discarding some of my possessions.  I will clean out my closets and drawers.  And I will do these things with time and thoughtfulness; not hurrying to get it done and over with.  I need that emotional connection and disconnection to develop a peace in me.
I hope to stay on top of my projects; like gardening.  being proactive and buying the stuff I need before I need it.  or building the things I need before I need them.  Like wire cages for the tomatoes.  Like investing in the wire fencing for whatever reason. 
I have a couple of calligraphy projects; one that is a continuing one for the church; banners for the agnus dei (which I need to get going on the third installment) and a meditative project that I'm still working out in my hear using Corinthians 13.
I've been here long enough.  'til next year.

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