Pantry Prep

Here's a very brief summary of  the day before Pantry.  I probably should have used a larger book or used two pages because it was fun making these quick sketches and I could have done up several more before the day was ended. 

After the Gold Rush

Found this post in my draft folder from back in 2012 so I decided to just post it.  Agh!  the memories!

So, after a few mind numbing days of, yes assisted living. no, home, no maybe residential living, how about adult foster homes like down the street from my house, and not a few tears on my part and the last sleepless night I care to have, I let Dad know that the only alternative was residential living.  sorry about the cost, sorry about not going home, etc. etc.
He agreed resignedly

Re-Re-discovered Blog

My sister and I each found our respective blogs we had started several years ago.  I am planning on putting up my drawings and paintings here.  I believe she is in accord.  The whole thing came about when she told me about her daughter putting up her drawings on Instagram and that she was going to do the same thing.  I remembered this blog and decided to skip Instagram for the time being and start posting here. 
I figure I can also add my musings from time to time.  Let's see how long this one lasts eh?

I was at the Partner Agency Conference today and took the opportunity to sketch the people in front of me.  I painted it when I came home.
Funny...The conference was located at the Faith Center. I believe it is a Four Square Gospel Church.   We were sitting in the Worship Center, a large amphitheater shaped room with a stage that held a piano and a drum set along with some very simple dried flower arrangements and two large viewing screens.  No cross or crucifix to be found anywhere in the entire room.  What is getting worshiped in that room?
The conference was interesting.  The first session covered de-escalation.  I've taken this before but it is always good for me to refresh my memory on how to work with people who are in distress in some way.  There are so many skills that I can see useful just in everyday communication with family members and friends.
The second session was titled Trauma Informed Care.  It was in some ways along the same line as the de-escalation session but went into detailing what trauma was and what are the causes of it.  Also very interesting.  I was especially impressed with the tips she gave to help us who are trying to provide help on how to deal with our own trauma induced behaviors so we can be more effective in helping others.

rediscovered blog

It's September and its this time of year that I make changes for myself.  October 1st is my new year and all September I mull over what changes I need/want to make in my life. 
The changes I am mulling over this year are;
1.  staying out of the grocery stores as much as possible.  I plan to start with going only twice per month and then gradually try to end up at once per month or maybe even longer!  Don't know about that though. 
A great deal of being able to do this is to get used to working with what I have in my larder and either doing without or changing my plans when I fall short of supplies. 
I'm home more than in the past three years and i plan on making this a habit rather than the norm.  mental shifts are in store. I will have more time to use what I have and make those changes as I will not be spending so much time away from home. 
2.  finding something to learn.  art?  drawing? herbal medicine?  cooking?  I don't know yet and this is a big worry for me.  Like I HAVE to be learning something.  Perhaps I should just take this winter to heal up from the last three years.  Rest and recuperate.  Let the Spirit move me.
3.  devoting more time to my spiritual life.  I have two books lined up for devotional/spiritual development but after that, well, I'm working on it.  Trying to listen to what the Lord wants from me. 
4.  quality day road trips.  once per month if possible.  even an over-nighter if that is called for.  stretching my horizons further than the coast. 
more to come

Missing Mama

This mess with Dad has triggered something in me and I'm missing Mom with an ache that cannot be eased.  Moving all of her belongings into boxes or into the siblings care has made it so final.  I could not wait to get out of her house yet when I got home, I was surrounded by her possessions and her presence.  I'm so sad.  The tears have finally come. 

Avoidance

I've avoided writing here like it was the plague.  It's been months.  Summary.  Residential care was a bust.  We moved them back home and brought in sub-standard care twice a day for Mom.  It wasn't working and Mom was getting worse.  Against #3 brother's wishes, we found a memory care home for Mom. That was September.  Medicaid took over payments in March and she died April 17th.  sob.

My grief knows no bounds.  And still there's Dad.  Very needy now, lonely, and Mark and Scott leave for traveling. Tim and Barb are busy with work.  Richard helped for a while but he's kinda sickly.  So, the majority of his care fell to me. 

He's so lonely and HATES being in his house.  He's gone all the time to the casino or dropping in on Tim, Laurie, or me.  He's also becoming aware of his frailty and has decided to move.  NOW.  Laurie and I took him to look at several places.  Foster homes were out.  Not enough activity and no cooking in the rooms.  Assisted living is out.  Too expensive.  We were at an impasse until we looked at Sheldon Oaks, independent retirement living.  affordable.  lovely, happenin'.  Dad loved it and we moved him just a few days later.  Still working out the kinks.  And there are a few of them. 

My frustration level hit the boiling point with Dad and he has been on edge with me ever since.  He cannot hear on his cell phone and until they install a land line it is all he has to use.  It is useless to talk to him yet he tries.  This was the source of my boil over. 

But something happened for me.  I found my limit and am now preparing to take time off from Dad.  I will try and get a couple things finished for him and then I'm shutting down for maintenance. 

So, there it is in a nutshell.